2. I’m male 20 and actually can’t smile : stressLess-life

I’m male 20 and actually can’t smile

https://ift.tt/qaLIOmC

So for context this isn’t about the way I smile I cannot seem to feel happy on my own. I either have to be distracted or have to have some sort of stimuli to get me out of my own head because I I don’t know why I am this way. I know it’s not normal to think negatively yourself every moment of every day, but I don’t know how to fix it and how to finally love myself I really want to. I know I have a lot of good and redeeming traits, but at the same time every time I think of one I can think of four more things negative about myself. It’s hard I’m really trying to be better, but I keep sinking deeper and deeper in this negative portion of myself, and I can’t seem to get out. I don’t want to ask my friends to help me because I don’t wanna be a bother. I don’t have the money or insurance for therapy. I don’t want to die I just don’t feel like I’ve been living. I feel as if I’ve been put on this earth, just to disappoint people and I’m really trying to grow and change and be a better adult, but nothing has changed I feel so far behind compared to everybody my own age I have a shitty car I live with my family I make around $700-$900 every two weeks I haven’t gone to school yet and etc. I’m a boring guy my only main redeeming quality is I am tall and nice to work with. I love nerd culture like anime and movies and Super hero stuff and I know that’s normal now, but I still hate my self and I know that’s better than a lot of people. I just can’t stop comparing myself to others. I haven’t felt happy for myself in a long time. Is there anything I can do to fix it

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