2. I found myself pretty and I'm crying : stressLess-life

I found myself pretty and I'm crying

https://ift.tt/wEkcjvg

I literally had to join because I'm literally crying and i need to say this to anyone who needs some happy note or just to know that this CAN happen to you.

It's been almost 5 years since i saw myself as pretty I've been struggling a lot with my selflove, with how much value i give to myself, with my self esteem and how i see my life, you know every thing related to that,

But today it happened, and i don't mean it like, when you put on some make up, wonderful clothes and you say to your mirror that you are a beauty

I mean like, comfy clothes, no special haircut no make up, hair like just woke up after whatever, literally just chilling your afternoon after classes or work, wash your hands, raise your head to the mirror for a second and instinctively say in your head "Pretty"

No Buts, no hows, no anything, just looking yourself for a sec and say "pretty" without thinking it.

I got to acknowledge it a sec later and I couldn't help it

I started smiling, i started getting excited and i started jumping, bouncing, laughing, i was just happy and repetitively saying pretty in my head

I got so happy and emotional that i literally just went to my father, just like tapped on his room's door, get on his bed and said "Daddy i- I'm pretty!, I'm pretty!"

(I'm living with my grandmother and my dad during university so they were the first ones i reached :3)

My relationship with my dad is weird and hard on a daily basis but, i said that and he hugged me, gently stroking my hair while saying "The prettiest, so many truths you are saying my piglet, you are beautiful honey, the most beautiful my lady" I was just repeating "I'm pretty, I'm pretty" while he said that cute things

After that i Stand and went to my grandma's room, hug her, tell her what happened and again had an overexcited reaction while hugging her, then i just stand again and once all the crazy happiness chilled i started the sweet overwhelmed happiness, crying so hard that remembering every time i cried for sadness as i just wasn't able to see myself the way i wanted.

I cried of happiness and mourning that hard times, and once i could chill out i texted my mom, she was so happy saying "You are beautiful from in and out hun"

Right now I'm a little bit more chill about it so I'll call my mom :3

Probably will cry again i won't lie.

Sometimes it's going to be hard, sometimes i won't believe it but everytime that happens i will see this post and remember that, i have already and will find myself pretty, in the past and the future, even if sometimes the path it's kinda tough.

I know that self love involves a lot of things but...the moment you appreciate your life it's a big step, maybe later i will tell ya that story

To anyone who needs this It is possible You can find yourself pretty maybe not today or tomorrow

But you will And it will be probably the most beautiful, mind-freeing moment you will have in a long time.

If you are here right now, i don't care about the past, you are doing it great, and you will keep on even if it's hard.

Goodnight everyone Here's already 8:40 pm and i have to call my mom and cry again 🩷🪷🌷🐷💮🧚🏽‍♀️

Special Note 🐷🩷 Piglet is the most near thing to a Silly cute name my dad calls me since a toddler when he is clearly happy.

We are from Chile and he uses the term "Chanchi Guagui"

"Chanchi" which comes from Chancho or Cerdo : Pig "Guagui" which comes from Guagua or bebé: Baby

Baby Pig - Piglet :D

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