2. At 43yrs old, I have finally learned to love and accept myself. : stressLess-life
At 43yrs old, I have finally learned to love and accept myself.
https://ift.tt/mUYz6vrSo this is my first post ever of Reddit but I respond to a lot of post. (I don't know if this is the correct sub, if not sorry for the long post)
I have been thinking a lot about myself a lot after reading the many post of all the different sub's of reddits.
I noticed I was most affected by the infidelity and Surviving infidelity thread, Although I have not had to worry about infidelity with my husband of 16yrs. I've had to deal with it in the past. One thing that I noticed whether man/woman is how the partner that was betrayed viewed themselves after discovery and most of them you could tell was they lost knowledge of how special and beautiful they are.
This made me think of myself, all the things I had to do learn myself worth again, it hurt to think of my own journey.
I remember when I couldn't stand my husband at the beginning of our marriage b/c he was in school and I wasn't. I was tired of my identity being just a Wife and mother. I was soooo BITTER, it was a really hard time for us, I'll new honest I started a lot of unnecessary arguments. Then I started to go to school for myself b/c I realised why I was so upset. My esteem went up a bit, I started buying things that I liked also and it made me feel good. My role iny family has always been the big sister, put everyone before me and make sure everyone else was OK. It was weird putting me first.
I learned to accept that it was ok to say NO, I mean I wasn't a total yes man, I could stand up for myself but I would have to pushed to my limit in order to do that.
It STILL pisses me off to thinly about all the stuff I allowed people to do to me. All the disrespect I allowed and howany times I didn't take up for myself when I really want to say SHUT THE F#%K UP!
My husband and I are good, we're like everyoyher couple we go through our crap but we also realize we accept each other for who we are and we are worth the fight for each other. I love being mother to my children (well now young adult and two teens). I love the stage our relationship is at. They know I'm not perfect but I'm honest and I will be a mama bear for them.
As for myself, I FINALLY gotten to the point that I realize, not everyone is going to like me but guess what, I don't like everyone either. I've accepted my personality. A person either likes me or they don't there's really no in between. I'm annoying to some, I'm to nice to others and some just think I'm a BITCH. I NOW know, that OK to. I LEARNED its OK to be OK being nice to people amf I'm not being FAKE b/c I enjoy being nice to people.
I no longer worry about impressing others. I LOVE my dressing style, its not for everyone but it fits me. I kinda became OK with just not caring about what others think is acceptable.
My question for myself is why did it take til this age to FINALLY accept myself. I wish I knew and accepted this at least ten years before I would've lived myself with so much more enjoyment, not that its bad now b/c it isn't I wish I just would've experienced the stuff i know now at an earlier time.
I want to continue to grow and see what other stuff I can grow to do and conquer but I do knoe I enjoy the woman I am now and I can't wait to see what else I might get the courage to do.
Sorry this is all over the place, this was just mind. Lol.
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