2. No personal savings, no social life, and no romance...and I'm still clawing my way to my better self : stressLess-life

No personal savings, no social life, and no romance...and I'm still clawing my way to my better self

https://ift.tt/dBHUKIy

I (22F) recently graduated college in a major slump.

I thought I knew what I wanted to do but uhh I didn't, eh, big deal happens to a lot of people, right? Unfortunately, I happened to also have No Plans Whatsoever, no job or internship lined up, no post-grad programs, no grad school apps ready, nada.

Found a summer job while I spent the last summer in my college town and had as good a time as I could.

Fall came, all my friends scattered about, I moved back home cause what else was I gonna do and things went a lil downhill.

Super lonely. No friends around to hang out with and no accessible ways to meet new people (in an area where most meetup groups are made up of people not my age).

Super broke. Went through my little savings and became entirely financially dependent. Started spending my days going deeper and deeper down the job search rabbit hole.

Started thinking about the Other Kind of loneliness I felt. Got stuck on the knowledge that I've never been in a relationship. Felt a growing ache as I thought about having someone to hold me tight and kiss me in that tender, intimate way.

This whole time I'd been going through therapy. Things were more or less stagnant until one point something in me snapped. I realized if I wanted to find The One, I needed to be The One myself. Can't attract what you're not willing to put out.

I started with deep breathing as suggested by my therapist. It felt incredibly stupid at first but it felt great when I first remembered to do it when I started to get overwhelmed or too in my head.

I introduced affirmations into the mix. Stared at myself in the mirror and kept repeating "I am beautiful" until I felt it.

I started taking baby steps at investing in my physical appearance. Bought a tinted sunscreen to give me a bit of a glow and a good mascara to highlight my eyes.

I started getting serious about language learning. I started putting on one lesson a day while I did my morning routine.

There were many times that I wanted to just give it up and go back to the comfort of crying and feeling that life is simply stacked against me. I kept forcing myself to keep up baby steps.

Now I'm here and am I That Girl yet? Hahaha, no.

However, I'm still working at it. I start my day with an affirmations podcast. I'm now doing 2 language lessons each morning (even started doing daily duolingo). I have a cemented skincare routine and have started including my entire body in it instead of just my face. I'm trying to eat as healthy as I can and am trying to wean off of excess sugar. I've started working out at least once a week. I work on carrying myself with confidence in public, keeping good posture and trying to smile more.

Every evening in the shower, I say my affirmations, I acknowledge what I'm grateful for, and I manifest my dream life.

It's really not easy, there are still MANY times where I really just Don't Feel Like It and I have to just force myself in the hope that one day it will feel completely natural.

I still have many moments where I start to think about my loneliness and the limbo of my current state and I start to sink back down to dark places. Even in those moments, I remind myself of my commitment and continue my mission.

It's also VERY slow going, it's been a few months now and I know I still have so much more to go until I reach my Best Self.

I couldn't get there without starting, though, and I sure as hell won't get there without continuing. So I keep on clawing my way up.

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